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Photo: USA Really

Duende Diary (IX)

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Experts:

August 26th

I'm bored. I have been playing Django with the parrot. We've played a total of three times. The parrot said it was uninteresting and absolutely aimless. Eating cactus is more nutritious and fascinating- certainly produced more adrenaline! And what emotions! The entire window gets covered in his “fertilizer”.

He went to eat a cactus by himself. He is kind of a loner...

I had to watch TV again to distract myself from the boredom. On the news I saw that the police are looking for at least four suspects who were seen on surveillance footage robbing a new California Apple store of thousands in iPhones and Mac computers. 

In the brief clip of Saturday's incident, what appears to be four suspects make a dash for a Walnut Creek store and quickly grab $30,000 in merchandise.

As bystanders stare in amazement, the group scrambles in hopes that they won't be caught, finishing in under 20 seconds.

At first I was almost in admiration, thinking they were smart and talented gangsters, but I was wrong again. They're idiots. The narrator explained that they fled the scene in a black SUV, which a witness was able to capture leaving the scene on video.    

Police were able to obtain the license plates of the black Mercedes SUV (by the way, the car was not a cheap one. They were probably rich kids having fun).

'We were lucky enough to have a citizen who saw the vehicle and copy down the license plate of the vehicle hopefully to identify the suspects in this case,' said Lt. Tom Cashion. And they will be got caught. No doubt.

It would be wise for them to be better prepared next time, and use their brains rather than the part they were using to think.

There was another interesting story on TV. This time in Kentucky. A frightened family alleged saw a ghost, and the eerie images were caught on CCTV.

Pamela Carter, 28, and her husband Rick Carter, 36, from Henderson, Kentucky, have been left spooked after seeing a man walking down their street before 'disappearing into thin air'

 “My son and my daughter have seen the video. I try to play with them that it’s not a big deal.

“Grayson is scared of things like that but my daughter is big on it. She likes to watch scary movies.

“She likes stuff like that but my son’s doesn’t want any part of it.

Pamela and Rick's kids responded differently to the news about the Ghost. Their daughter got very excited as she really likes horror movies. Their son in his turn was very scared and said he wanted to be as far as possible from the families' paranormal guest.

His parents tended to agree with him, as the family is now preparing to move. By the way, they showed the video on TV, and I recognized the ghost! It's the spirit of the former owner of the house who moved away from us a couple of months ago! Watch where you're going! He has returned to his old ways! He has always liked to scare people. You see, hes also bored!

The little girl had everything under control, well done, She's brave! But her brother is a coward. Everything has changed in the world nowadays. Crazy overprotective mothers are killing masculinity. This society is doomed.

August 27th

I could not find the turtle all day. It's impossible to find anything in this bloody mess the parrot made! I had ask the parrot for help. He tried to refuse at first but I threatened to take away his bottle caps, and he immediately agreed. I can be very convincing when I need to be!

We eventually found the turtle, but it was already evening by that time. Turns out shed gone into 'hiding' pretending to be some grand explorer: my foot! We put the turtle on the sofa, and told her an instructive story about another outstanding traveler named James Cook, who was eaten by cannibals. Cook was allegedly eaten because of the cannibals' great respect for him (if they wanted the piece of his courage and intelligence passed to them), but in the case of the turtle, she would likely be made into soup simply because shes delicious. There is a difference here.

The parrot then showed us some news from Honolulu for educational purposes.

An ‘escaped’ turtle there teetered on the verge of life and death after she decided to run away from home. She definitely needed to consider the details of her escape more carefully.

Duende Diary (IX)

The turtle decided to get away from the balcony but got stuck on a narrow ledge on the side of the building. It seems that the turtle realized that it had nowhere to go, so in desperation, she began crawling back and forth.

This scene was shot by residents of Honolulu (Hawaii, USA), who were in a nearby building. They began to call everyone - the management company, the head of the house, the animal control service, PETA, and the Fire Department. Finally, the staff of the local Humane Society came finally came through to help this turtle and brought her home.

And now for a little bit more about animals:

Duende Diary (IX)

Three brothers were out for a morning dive in Wellington of New Zealand’s capital when they came across the impressive creature.

Diver Jack Aplin posed with the giant squid.

The trio contacted the National Institute of Water and Atmospheric Research, who arranged to have the squid collected.

A Department of Conservation spokesman said it was almost certainly a giant squid, the bodies of which washed up relatively regularly.

Last year a 50ft squid washed up in Indonesia.

What a monster! Do you have any idea how many fried kalamari rings you could make? And what about sushi?

Why am I always talking about food? I'm not an animal, you know. By the way, it is not actually true that animals only think about food, they think about the arts as well as a this story from Colorado shows us.
A Black Bear Wandered Into The Hotel That Inspired ‘The Shining’ in the middle of the day. Do you think he was just hungry? No way, I'm sure he was inspired by the architecture and artful interiors. Stephen King is not the only one inspired by this hotel!

 The Stanley Hotel in the Rocky Mountains is nonetheless most famous for inspiring Stephen King’s The Shining, the basis of the classic 1980 film. A lot of weird things happen in that Stanley Kubrick horror flick. A torrent of blood gushes from an elevator, a pair of creepy twin girls haunt the hallways, and a guy in a furry bear suit makes an, er, unforgettable appearance.

Perhaps the black bear that wandered into the lobby of the still-functioning Estes Park hotel this week was simply trying to continue this tradition.

August 28th

An unknown woman came to my door. She started saying something about the social security. I opened the door and said no one was at home. For the first time I saw a woman grow old in the span of a couple minutes. She left, off to collect pension or welfare maybe...

People are too strange. They are so easily frightened. Am I so terrible? It's even a bit insulting. Tattoo artist Kalaca Skull from Colombia has spent the last to years getting extreme body modifications. Being “very attached to skulls” he has cut off his nose so he can look like a skull.

And it has not been for nothing. He's a celebrity now. He's even been on TV!

Duende Diary (IX)

But it doesn't stop there.

The heavily tattooed artist has had his tongue split in half and tattooed a blue-grey colour, and had skull features, including black eye-sockets on his tattooed on his face.

Kalaca Skull, 22, was the first person in Colombia to opt to have his nose and ears voluntarily removed, prompting a media storm in the country.

He has also shaved his entire head to reveal hundreds of painful head tattoos and piercings.

His efforts to transform his appearance and the spooky results started after his mother's death.

He has even more plans now for further modifications to make him look even more like a skull.

But despite his terrifying appearance attracting stares in public and making strangers uncomfortable, Kalaca insists he is a "normal" person who just happens to look "different".

Duende Diary (IX)

“Look different” is not the right word! This guy is insane! He definitely needs a psychiatrist.   But the media are talking about him and giving him the attention he wants! What is wrong with this world? How is it fair?

Although, what is fairness after all? For example, a man smacks a woman on the bum and he'll be arrested for sexual harassment, but if a woman does the same to a man, it will be regarded as a joke. Where's the fairness in that? On the other hand in England,  a COP arrested a boozy reveler at the Notting Hill Carnival for slapping his bum. Inspector Owen Pyle, 28, did not find it funny when a woman smacked his bottom as cheering crowds looked on as her colleagues posed for selfies with scantily-clad dancers.

Insp Pyle — based at London’s Southwark Police Station —  then arrested the woman, and went on Twitter to vent his feelings.

He tweeted: “I don't come to work to be sexually assaulted while doing my job. That kind of behaviour is unacceptable.” He added: “I think alcohol played a part tbh.”

Scores of Twitter users backed him but others accused him of overkill. One tweeted: “It was a slap on the a**e!!!! So what?!”

What is happening in the world? Maybe he is gay?! No, he's definitely gay, in the every sense of the word...

I shared my thoughts with the parrot. He said that according to the Ancient East and Ancient Greek philosophy,  fairness was considered as an internal principle of natural existence: a physical, cosmic order, which influences the social order. The world is God's Providence, so it  cannot be judged from the standpoint of a single person.

For example, in Canada, a bride and her groom had been saving for their dream wedding and collected some $15 thousand dollars. However, this sum seemed insufficient to the girl, and she decided she wanted to spend $60 thousand on the ceremony: to get the money she proposed guests to chip in for around $1.5 thousand a piece. After the most of them refused, the bride canceled the ceremony. On top of that, she broke up with her fiancé, who called her plans insane and instead offered to hold a humble ceremony. From her point of view, everything is unfair, she wanted something amazing, but people didn't want to pay for her wishes. From their point of view, it was unfair that they would have to pay for someone else's wedding. The fiancé probably believes that it is unfair to spend the money they saved together without taking into account his opinion. Although he can't complain about it, he's actually pretty lucky. He'd have a hard time living out his life with that bitch.

Here is another story of a failed wedding with a happy ending. This time from the US...

After a Virginia man was dumped before he proposed to his girlfriend, a lucky couple was chosen to receive the ring he bought for her.

Steven Crocker wanted to do something special with he $1,700 diamond he bought for his girlfriend of more than two years, who broke up with him last year.

Crocker posted on Facebook, asking people to explain to him why they deserve the ring.

Sean Sullivan, of Illinois, was one of more than 1,500 people who responded to the post.

“My mom first told me about it," Sullivan said. "I looked it up because I was skeptical at first. I sent in a video that was 17 minutes long and told him our whole story of how we met. “

Sullivan said he’d been planning on proposing to his girlfriend, Natalie, and had been saving money for a ring, but his plans were derailed after he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and couldn't work.

He told Natalie what had happened but didn’t let her know he had applied to get Crocker’s ring.

When he found out he was chosen, he was shocked.

“It was crazy, so overwhelming," he said. "[I] couldn’t believe it because I didn’t expect it at all." 

He proposed with the ring a month later, and Natalie said yes. 

"She was totally surprised," Sullivan said. "For someone to do this, it just shows there are still good people left in this world. He had no reason to do this for anybody and it’s amazing he did this."

This story really gets me so I decided to return the parrot's cap. I stole it and planned to throw the cat in into his tray. I'm terribly sentimental today, after all.

August 29th

The cat is spamming me with messages about the pigeons. He sent this message: "my tray doesn't have much space, where can I put a torpedo?". I told him that “the launch is prohibited, wait for further instructions.” What kind of torpedoes does he have? It's bullshit-- but those of the actual army are not much better. I heard in the news today that the Pentagon was accused of concealing defects in their F-35s. The 19 most critical defects were re-classified as a reduced hazard without a plan to correct the deficiencies. In particular, this applies to the pilot ejection system and problems with the installation of coordinates for bombing. The parrot said it was nothing. Yes, this  is just new stealth technology which aims at reducing the visibility of its own defects.

 At the same time I sent the cat a link to a news article that New Zealand has proposed a ban on cats — they are dangerous predators after all. Let him think about his behavior.

The regional Council of Southland in New Zealand has proposed to ban the villagers of Maui from having cats. If the decision is approved, the animals will need to be sterilized, chipped and registered with the authorities. After their death, the owners will not be able to get new ones.

Environmental activists have long said that cats threaten the wildlife of New Zealand. In particular they endanger the rare birds that become their prey. The solution proposed by the regional Council will help to protect endangered species.

Seems extreme,  what kind of his bloodthirsty predator is our cat for instance? He is just a complete mess of a black wool and a claws. May be he could be used at the same time as a sound indicator for closed doors, a seasonal wool generator, a horizontal surface cleaner for breakable objects, a merciless Christmas tinsel untangler,  but as a bloody bird hunter… unlikely.

August 30th

The turtle crawled over and secretly told us that she had heard the news that the U.S. Government has begun to revoke suspicious citizen's passports. We are talking about Americans who cannot prove that they were born in the United States. I wonder if Obama will be checked, I’ve heard somewhere that his father illegally immigrated to the USA from Kenya.

In other news, Donald Trump accused Google of giving him only bad news. "Google should be punished for giving out not enough positive stories." As it stands, the news on google is being used only to scare the population. There was no positive stories at all.

When will the hostess returns... I'm bored without a cat. Even the fight didn't entertain me, although the video is funny. Where was the fight you ask? In Chicago, in the children's restaurant "Go Bananas", advice some parents took a bit too literally. These parents had an argument, and a fight broke out. They were thowing garbage can, chairs, and fencing with a MOP.  It's, like, they've got loads of fun for the whole family. But I'm bored, bored, bored... however, it seems the parrot got into a bottle of rum. That should be interesting.

August 31st

The cat wrote that he'll be back on Sunday, we are all waiting. The parrot said that he has to stop drinking after yesterday. His drinking never ends well.

A resident of Augusta, Maine, organized the arrest of 93-year-old mother to surprise her on birthday.

Would that idea have even occurred to someone who was sober? Although if you really want the inheritance…

Ben Affleck, for instance, might not be Batman again because of his drinking problems. That is at least one good thing alcohol has done for us.

September 1st

The cat arrives tomorrow. It's cleaning day here today. The parrot started in the kitchen. To begin the process, he found another bottle of rum and finished it. I can't do it all on my own! I went to watch TV, I hope it will give ideas on how to optimize the cleaning process.

There were no ideas, but I did learn that in Los Angeles, 45-year-old local resident Paul Gonzalez, met a woman online, went out to dinner with her, and then vanished after claiming he had to use the washroom — before the check arrived.

This is a great idea for a start-up.

Meanwhile, another great idea for a new start-up from the President. He wrote in his Twitter "I love Canada, but they've taken advantage of our Country for many  years." It seems Trump might be ready to propose a new fence on America's northern border.

The parrot is not a fighter, his drunkenness resulted in a round of pirate songs. Next, it will be 'All hands on deck!' and then it's a short road to mutiny. I need to hide his favorite bottle caps. I'd prefer for him to look for buried treasure. Another guy idea in the gutter! Such is the fate of most start-ups it seems...

Author: El Duende