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Duende Diary (X)

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September 2nd

The parrot appears to be off his game today… probably had a bit too much rum at his Pirate party yesterday. He told me that the stormy weather was making him feel seasick. It was the 1st of September yesterday – the international day of knowledge. Across the world, children went back to school after their long summer holiday. Naturally they are less than thrilled about it, but who asks them anyway?! By hook or by crook they'll be brought to the right place!

However, some NYC schools this year will remain closed for white students. While black students begin the new school year, white students were told they will not be welcome… and yet somehow, the schools are claiming that they are taking such measures because they are against racism… seems a bit odd to me, but I’m a tolerant guy: the parrot, however, got rather upset. He claims he is white, and proud of his racial purity… I think it is more likely that he is just unable to hold his liquor. I couldn’t help myself, I started prompting his anger, and then told him where our master keeps her books. I swear that I had no bad intentions, but the parrot ended up scattering them everywhere, and even defiantly tore to shreds the most beautiful old book in her collection, which I know she absolutely loved. I assume our master won't be inspired by the parrot’s political performance art instillation. Frankly speaking, she deserved it. There was no need to leave us for a week! She even took the cat with her, but left us behind!

The master is coming back today. We should clean up a little bit, I have a really bad feeling about what she will do if she sees the mess… but the parrot said it is the sin to work before  Labor Day, and maybe he's right… I guess I will go to take a nap instead.

September 3d

The cat wrote us to tell us that the master has decided to stay away for a while longer. She's got a new boyfriend who I already think is a bad influence on her. Let's just see what kind of guy he is. If he shows up at the house, we'll give him a “proper” meeting. We have a standard method of greeting her boyfriends, and let’s just say that none of them have lasted too long.

The pigeons are quite brazen about holiday work. They told us that they would have a triple their rates because if we want them to work on Labor Day! Where is the logic in that? It's labor Day, not highway-robbery day!

A shooting occurred during the hot holiday weekend at a residential complex in San Bernardino (California), and ten people were injured. They must have been arguing over holiday rates. The parrot felt it was sad that the state had to combine the holiday parades with high-profile arrests, maybe the authorities could have planned the family fun and fireworks first and then followed up with the incarceration of the murderers.

I started to get curious about how people celebrate Labor Day in other countries. It turns out that they don’t celebrate it at all, they just labor away like usual… logical. In Britain, a powerful group of broadcasters signed a letter in the Sunday Telegraph calling for the tighter regulation of online content.

The letter was published in the Sunday Telegraph and signed by the heads of the BBC, Sky, ITV, Channel 4, BT, and Talk Talk. They called for "independent oversight" in the form of a watchdog for tech companies that publish news.

In short, the letter states a demand for "independent oversight" in the form of a watchdog organization.

  • Tech companies have come under heavy fire recently for how they regulate the content on their platforms.
  • Traditional TV is under major threat as young people spend more time with Snapchat or YouTube than they do with traditional platforms.

I still remember how all these respected members of the liberal media loudly shouted about democracy, freedom of speech and the fight against censorship… yet, when it comes to their own political interests, or more importantly their money, liberals are perfectly willing to forget the principles that they've been yelling about at every street corner for the last 40 years or so.

I’m confident that censorship of online-platforms is coming, and its only a matter of time.

In different countries, it will take different forms, from each state’s analog of the Chinese Supervisory authorities to 'independent NCB'S' which will also participate in political censorship, but of course, 'not on behalf of the state'.

The era of the freedom of speech on the internet is over.

September 4th

The master still hasn’t come back, and the cat hasn’t written a word. I'm growing very bored.

September 5th

The elections are getting closer, and with them will come the seasonal US bombing campaigns, this time Syria is the most likely target. Although this time, things might be a bit more difficult. Russians, Iran, Israel... These guys can punch back, and it would be all too easy to trigger global war if things go according to plan... I sincerely hope that the government fails again this time, I know they can do it!

Also today, some shocking news! Coca-Cola and its main competitors are losing sales. Buyers are mysteriously falling out of love with delicious high-fructosy beverage.

Personally, I'm pleased: soda is not good for your health. For example, the lion's share of problems facing "McDonald's" is a result of their soda sales — if you drink hamburgers with water, your health risks will be drastically reduced. However, I don't expect that sales of soda will naturally fall by themselves, that is, without some help from the authorities.

In the US, activists are now trying to apply the same taxes and prohibitions to soda which currently apply to alcohol and tobacco. Let's see if they can pull it off, maybe the master will stop drinking this stuff.

I started getting worried and searched the internet for news about what might have happened to the cat and the master, but only found information about a dog and a football, which was nice too.

The assistant coach of the Paraguayan football club "May 2" is a stray dog. His name is Techpara.

The head coach allegedly fed him once, and now the two are inseparable. The dog is present at training sessions, sitting at the edge during matches… he even gives interviews!

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September 6th

Our master has finally returned, and the cat with her! She was a little upset over the mess that the parrot made, but much less than I expected. She even poured a full bowl of milk for me! She seemed so relaxed, cheerful and inspired…  she even somehow looked younger.  The cat, however, seemed broody and angry… he looked like he spent the last 10 years in a maximum-security prison: he was even talking like a prison inmate! Where only did he ever hear such language, and when!?

To translate his words into censored English, the situation was as follows: he was transport to some ranch on the seaside where they locked him in a cell and forgot about him. Well, they didn't exactly forget, but the master only came to see him once a day. She even spent the night the first couple of days… But then she began to spend all her free time with some guy. The cat hates this guy. But... judging by the content of his story, there is nothing wrong with the dude, he even brought the cat some shrimp, but maybe he was just playing nice. The cat said he wasn’t buying it. He was as proud and unyielding as a rock! But he did eat the shrimp...

Pleasing cats with presents of local cuisine is a direct and primary obligation of all people, and cats in turn must accept these gifts, it the law of nature.

I don't know why, but I don't like the guy either. Okay okay, let's first see how he behaves. If something seems off, we'll show him what’s what. In Connecticut, a man was arrested for firing off shots in his apartment. He explained that he had done so due to the fact that a ghost had broken into his house. He told police that he was in law enforcement himself, having been 'a paranormal investigator for five or six years'. It’s unfortunate that he couldn't find common ground with my brother-in-death, because we are not to be trifled with. It’s much better to make nice. If you mess with us, be ready to be driven mad and recorded on some paranormal investigation show.

Further conversation afforded little information. So, if we put aside indignation about the conditions of detention and the master’s new lover, there was nothing else of note. There was a room. There was a TV in the room, and there was even a delicious TV remote… delicious, but fragile. The cat chewed it up on the second day and it stopped working. The cat was thus left without TV news. What else? The room had a window, but there was nothing interesting to se except the seagulls. And the seagulls were honestly not very interesting either, rather arrogant birds. They claim to keep the entire coast 'on property'. The pigeons have complained about them quite a lot, but people protect them for some reason.

For example, in New Hampshire, a man was fined $124 for kicking a seagull that tried to eat his cheeseburger. And for what? The guy was defending his property! The cat said that he'd have killed the bird to defend his cheeseburger. The parrot said that he would give up his favorite jar lid watch that fight. Any self-respecting seagull would eat a cat with pleasure instead of a cheeseburger, or even better, together with it. The cat said that beating domestic animals is a criminal act, you can get locked up for it! They almost had a fight. We did, however, agree on the fact that people have to feed animals, especially cats and parrots.

September 7th

All day yesterday we celebrated the release of the cat and his return home. We drank valerian, swung on the curtains, sung songs… and in the evening we sat on the windowsill. The cat was walking on the roof and shouting that if he fell down, nothing will happen to him because he has nine lives. He is a really bad drunk ... But we love him. After all, it's great that he's finally home!

September 8th

In the morning, the parrot flew in and told me in confidence that there is a possibility that the new boyfriend of our master is Michelle Obama. I was surprised by his claim, the parrot often gets a bit confused, especially after rum,  but just in case I asked why he decided so. The parrot responded, that firstly, the man’s name is definitely Michelle. Second, he's black, and third, according to the cat’s stories about  his behavior, he's gay. I didn't immediately agree. The first two points might be true, but the third is highly questionable. In response, the parrot showed me an article in which  Dr. Rafael Espinanzo, who was entrusted with former First Lady Michelle Obama’s care during the 2008 presidential election, is speaking out about something he feels the public needs a definitive answer on. With all the talk about Mrs. Obama once being a man, Espinanzo felt he couldn’t keep his mouth shut any longer:

“I Know what I saw. Michelle Obama is not a woman who used to be a man. Michelle Obama is just a man with breast implants and a huge shaving bill. On the campaign trail, no medical staff were allowed to go near her other than to take vitals if she got sick, which she never did.

I know what I know because I walked in on her…err…him…while he was taking a leak standing up in a bathroom in Trenton. They paid me millions for my silence but after seeing what they did to this country I just can’t keep quiet. Let them sue me.”

I objected, but the parrot showed me a 12-minute video, where  the ‘InfoWars’ host analyses footage and photos which he believes prove Obama has a penis.

"Michelle appears in photos and videos to have a very large penis in her pants, her shoulders are wide, her face is very, very masculine. She looks like a tranny," Jones said. "Since the early days of the Obama administration, citizens across the board have studied videos and photos of Michelle Obama and said that she is a man."

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Frankly speaking, there are questionable sources, and this doctor character seems to have come out of nowhere…

But on the other hand, official sources cannot be trusted at all, and the argument is at least entertaining. As I recall, Michelle Obama's Gender has been under discussion since her husband was elected President in 2009. News networks often paid attention to the structure of the body of the former first lady, some of its parts, such as hands and ears, as well as various bulges and folds in clothing. Barack Obama himself is known for the support of the LGBT community, and finally legalized same-sex marriages in the country.

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All this is true, but why has the parrot decided that the master’s new boyfriend is Michelle Obama?

It is now actually fashionable to be transgender. Even the main character of the cartoon "Cold heart-2" is meant to portray a lesbian or bisexual. Disney is still thinking about it. He seems like a normal person too. Although money can change a lot... I understand that it's time to really get used to the idea, but still after reading such news my eyes start to twitch. .. Not surprisingly, nine-year-olds in the US schools suffer a great deal after “coming out...”

But still, in normal society the new trend is still not exactly accepted, and transgender people still suffer.  47-year-old Sofia Flight had her Bank account frozen because she sounded "like a man" on the phone… and Yes, Sofia used to be a man. It's good time to sue…

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Author: El Duende