Duende Diary (IV)
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Photo: USA Really

Duende Diary (IV)


July 20th

A fat pastor came with a censer, and smelled the whole house. He told my mistress that everything would be fine. I don't think so... It'll never stick. A censer doesn’t work.

When the pastor went out, the parrot said that he saw on internet that a strange colorful bird has been spotted on the Grand Teton National Park live webcam just days after a highly popular area near Jenny Lake in Grand Teton National Park located near the Yellowstone National Park has been closed to the public for the immediate future due to concerns over expanding cracks and fissures in a large rock formation. He demonstrated the video. The firebird can be seen at around the 2.08 mark in the video.

I remember my grandma told me the ancient legend the firebird comes from a faraway land which is both a blessing and a bringer of doom. Maybe that crazy pastor was right. Are we living at the end of days? The people get crazy. How else can you explain the news that a mum-of-two was left unable to walk for a year after shattering her foot in 30 places while taking part in the 'tombstoning' craze. Daredevil Claire Graham suffered the horrific injuries after climbing 30ft up a popular beauty spot and plunging into the water. The 32-year-old did it as part of tombstoning -- the deadly craze which involves jumping off a cliff into the water. I wonder what kind of person jumps off a cliff having two children? She could die at all! Those people! A tremendous disregard for yourself and your children! I hope she will review the system of her life values and understand that there are things much more important in the world than reckless extremes.

July 21st

The firefighters of Austin (Texas) twice a week went to extinguish the plant due to spontaneous combustion of corn chips. The firefighters were very excited about the incident because they believe that corn chips are necessary for a full life and comfort. That's right! Motivation is the key! And the guys have a strong and well-established motivation!

July 22nd

Some guy came to my mistress. Brought a bottle of wine with him. Clearly

He wanted to spend the night here. I had to drop a vase on him. He left quickly, at a run. Unfortunately, it all ended up not good for the cat. He has been locked in the closet. But we all must pay for our ways of life. That is a price I agree to pay for.

July 23rd

I watched on TV that in California an employee of the California Department of vehicle registration was sleeping in her workplace almost four years. In total, she spent more than 2,000 working hours sleeping at a cost of more than $40,000.  And guess what? She wasn't fired. I think not to allow the mistress to watch TV today is a good idea. She could want to move to California. I'm not ready for another move even to California.

I'd better give her the news that the husband of a stripper and porn actress Stormy Daniels divorces her because she cheated on him with Trump… Sounds like you guys have a great relationship!!! My congratulations! There is apparently somebody who is more of a freak then her Juan was.

Just in case about the freaks… 20-year-old Khalil Cavill, who worked as a waiter in a restaurant in Texas, posted on Facebook a photo of a check for $ 108 with the PostScript: "we do not tip the terrorist." The young man wrote that he allegedly received this message from one of the visitors. At the same time, Kavil painted the name and bank details of the guest.

I want people to understand that this is racism and that this hatred still exists. Although this is nothing new, it’s something that will test your faith.

After the publication of the post, the Saltgrass management prohibited the client whose name was indicated on the check from visit the institution. And Kavila began to receive money from not indifferent users who wanted to support him.

But a few days later in an interview with the publication of the Odessa, the American waiter admitted that he himself had written the racist note,

Kavil admitted that he hopes that his post will spur the conversation “about this hatred that is still going on, which is still here and spread.” What was he thinking, fabricating the whole story? Did he really believe that people would hate him less after his lie?

An Ohio man who called in a bomb threat to Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport so he would avoid missing his flight was sentenced to four months in prison and ordered to pay $7,700 in restitution to United Airlines for the canceled flight.

A good try, but unfortunately this trick is pretty well known. That's what high school kids do when they don't learn their lessons. Apparently, this Ohio man has not grown up, by his brains at least, although he is 40.

July 24th

A python, who escaped from its owners in Virginia Beach, Virginia, crawled several kilometers and hid inside a toilet. Imagine how surprised the house owner was when he found the unknown snake in his toilet. Fortunately, it appeared to be not poisonous. The man called to police. The officers suggested that the Royal Python ran away from its home. Soon they found the owners of the Python, living a few kilometers from the scene. It remains unknown how the snake got into someone else's toilet. It is believed that it made a trip to the sewer, but it could also crawl on the ground, to get into the house of James and hide in the toilet, considering it a good shelter.

The cat suggested that the snake was very offended by someone, but unlikely it was her owner who is responsible for this. The cat took a hard look at me and said that he understood the Python very well. He's been tempted to do the same on several occasions. And all because his neighbor is too sneaky. He used to do nasty things but it’s me who is responsible for all.  With such friends, one needs no enemies. Says that it is time to unionize the animals against cruel treatment by the brownies.

July 25th

I have to do something with the turtle. It mastered the wheels. It drives fast and silent. At night I went to the refrigerator and stepped on it, and counted all the steps backward with my ass. Not only that, the hostess was frightened again, but it also hurts!

I decided to paint the tortoise shell with glowing paint so that it could be seen in the dark. I’ve painted the shell in the form of a skull. I believed it was a creative approach. It was beautiful. That's just like mistress did not like.  When she saw the turtle, she screamed so much that the neighbors called the police. While my mistress was still passed out, I hid the turtle. She is so nervous. And you can't expect anything good from the police. They can easily accuse you of cruelty to animals. I know it for sure.

In the morning, my mistress had placed around the house icons and ran to work. I walked around and checked them. Not bad, but she used to be better at drawing.

We talked with the parrot about religion. The parrot thinks we're living in the end of the world. The four horses of the Apocalypse are approaching.  The signs are everywhere. Cataclysms, earthquakes, volcanoes, the planet Nibiru, the blood moon... An 11-year-old girl caught a fish with human-like teeth in an Oklahoma lake on Sunday. The parrot said it was a sign too. But as I know the creature was later identified as a pacu fish, native to South America and a relative of the piranha. National Geographic reports that pacu have a bad reputation online, where many people believe they are prone to bite human testicles allegedly confusing them with tree nuts.

Fears have been so widespread that some officials have even suggested that men swim with their bathing suits tightly tied.

The invasive pacu were blamed by locals in New Guinea for the deaths of two men in 2011 after they reportedly lost their testicles, but the case has not been confirmed and National Geographic reports that information on the incident is scarce.

The Cat, hearing about testicles, suddenly perked up and asked if this fish attacks the cats? Then asked whether there is far Oklahoma, carefully studied the map and said that he would never go to the lake again,  just in case. It seems the theme of testicles is very sensitive for him.

July 26th   

Sang songs with the Cat. The mistress called the vet. The Cat is now worried about his testicles.

Author: El Duende